Yuk

Something that really annoys and disgusts me at the same time are those people who use Facebook or other social network platforms as a kind of medical record. You might have a few of those people in your friends list, but one is actually already enough to annoy the shit out of you. Too bad for you that you have a stomach flu, but seriously, updating your status with facts that your intestines are empty now and that you hope the suppository pill will work... too much information! You know, those people who visit their GP on a weekly base and keep us informed with all the things that have been said during that consultation.

I do not want to know all this! Especially if you, in this case, suffer from a vivid imagination. I don't want to know that you are shoving up pills in your ass, that you have been puking all day, I don't wanna hear about your wounds and your blisters and diseases!

Don't those people have any shame? It is just unnatural! When my dog is sick, he feels embarrassed and weak and hides under the table until it is over. Why do those people feel the urge to share all their diseases with me, let alone that they think that I am actually interested?!

Okay I admit, I am guilty of informing Facebook that I was suffering from mumps, but come on, I did not give an elaborate description of my swollen glands. I understand the need to inform others when you are unwell, but please, I beg you, spare me all the bodily details in the future, because it fucking sickens me.

Blue Velvet

It's a sunny, woodsy day in Lumberton, so get those chainsaws out.

The knowledge that seeking the favour of another
Means the murder of self.

Silence speeds the path to the streams of solace that run so few and narrow.
Brooks that babble the sounds of torture, the sounds of torture
You will one day rise.

I will show you all that I have mastered
Fear. Pain. Hatred. Power.
This is the Art of Ruin.

Conclusion of today

DOGS

they should not wear orange tshirts.

Woke up from the rain blowing through my window. Doesn't matter, I needed to wake up anyway. I am now resurrecting with baked beans, coffee & Tom Waits. After breakfast and a shower I will conquer the Irish weather to visit the library. Today will be a grey day and I realise I'm kind of fond of a little misery.

Misery is the river of the world, everybody row, everybody row!

Translation from my little notebook

20 October 2009

Half past seven in the morning, it is still dark and my breath forms tiny clouds in the cold air.

Five minutes delay. I huddle up in my scarf a little more. Look back one more time. The sky above me is dark, but the sky above you is already turning pink, yellow and purple, as soft as the blankets under which you can sleep for a little longer.

I miss you already.

Mucha

Uneven

It's an everlasting feeling that always comes to the surface on weekends like this. Usually when I am around people of my own age. It takes a day or so to emerge. No clue where it comes from, don't know the reason, the origin.

It's not the past. I didn't got bullied, pushed away. I had friends, enough of them. A loving family. There is no one to blame, really, and no need to blame anyway.

It's the gap between yourself and the others. This gap I can't define, but it has been there all the time. Not that I have any problems with talking to people, liking them, being liked, socializing in general. It is the feeling of not being part of them, of their group, the feeling of being an outsider.

It might be due to my lack of conformation. I make my own plans, I do not wait for 'the rest' if I don't want to, I don't join 'the group' when I don't feel like it. I am not ashamed of a different opinion, a different view. Maybe it is a punishment for not conforming to social rules. Or maybe it is just my own choice of not being a member. 

But after all, I normally don't mind. I don't feel lonely. I feel at ease sitting alone, wandering around by myself. There are few moments I start wondering if I am the only one. But sometimes I do. Non-lonely-loners who like daydreaming and good company who live half in the social world and the other half in their own?

I never feel lonely when I am alone, rather with others around.

London

 

 

2,5 years later

Back from London

I just returned from London. It was the third time I had the chance to enjoy this marvellous city.

Good coffee at Picadilly in the morning, shopping at the vintage shops at Camden Market, strolling down the lovely parks, Buckingham Palace & the expensive stores at Oxford Street at night.

Watching the lights of Big Ben and the London Eye at the other side of the Thames, and many more things that happened in London & stay in London. I made the wish I didn't have to go back to Limerick many times, it is such an amazing city and I had some amazing company as well. I am now going to sort out my luggage and see if I can get some sleep until the normal life starts again tomorrow morning, hoping for some fine dreams about the good memories I have.

LONDON

Going to London tomorrow with three Swedish friends!
We're planning on doing some really awesome things, I'm so excited!
I am packing at the moment, being obsessed with the great What To Wear - question.

 Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait.

 

Muscle ache

What a stupid thing I quit sports some years ago. I just got back from indoor climbing and again realised how much I like the pain in my arms and legs, and the tiny blisters on my hands.

I forgot that I like running until I really can't run anymore, pushing the limits.

I'm angry at myself I didn't keep up with the yoga exercises so that I had to come down from the climbing wall due to the very bad cramps in my feet.

But it's not too late to pick it up again, I'm not fat yet and my body remembers how to work. 

All those good intentions; I'd better keep up the good work when I'm back in Holland.

Karma Decrease

but I just cannot avoid thinking when I see this enormous stuffed-in-sweatpants-cellulitis-ass leaving the bus:

you should have walked.

especially when I'm seated and the Ass hits my shoulder on its way to the doors. I fucking hate that.

Contemplation

The road goes ever on and on,

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow it, if I can.

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way,

Where many paths and errands meet,

And whither then? I cannot say.

Nietzsche

There are epochs in which the man of reason and the man of intuition stand side by side. They both desire to rule over life.

Went outside for a few minutes today. Realised how much I missed some sun and wind.

It must suck so bad to be in prison, wow.